“Your relationship is unhealthy.”

The dreaded words one never wants to hear from a mental health professional.

At first, I was in disbelief not because I thought my relationship was perfect but for the fact it was stated so matter-of-fact when actually I felt my relationship was improving every day. I do not have a perfect relationship and there have been huge issues with it in the past year. I do not like going into too much detail because I often feel judged for it and that people believe they know so much about me or my relationship with the person I love. I have left him a few times and other dramatic scenes have occurred. But does it mean I am in a doomed relationship? As I talked to my therapist, no. It doesn’t mean that but improvements have to be consistent. That’s what matters most; it just irks me that there truly is no one I can talk to. No one is has been in my exact same shoes. Everyone has had a shade of what I experienced but not the same outcomes. There are always those comparisons to other people’s relationships. I got into an argument and a person I confided in was trying to empathize: “Oh I know what you’re going through, my man does the same thing but he’s not as bad as yours.”

How is my significant other bad? We all make bad decisions including myself. People probably think I am bad too. I want to know who can truly empathize with me other than someone who is a trained professional.

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