What a random title you have.

You may see my title and wonder, who would name a title that? Or that’s random. Or, so what I know this already!

What inspired this title was not only my messy life (and space but hey that’s how I roll) but the movie Silver Linings Playbook. In that film, the character of Tiffany (superbly played by Jennifer Lawrence) says something that struck such a chord with me. I identify with characters, but never on such a level as when she says this after Pat (Bradley Cooper) calls her a slut:

I was a big slut, but I’m not anymore. There will always be a part of me that is sloppy and dirty, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?

That quote completely resonated with me, particularly the bold where she describes the part of herself that will always be sloppy/dirty. Yet she likes that part of herself along with everything else. That was huge for me! I never thought I could put to words that feeling, yes I’m flawed and yes there are some crazy things I have done… But I forgive myself, I can forgive others, and I like those flawed bits of myself. Sometimes, I forget that I love that part of myself. The part that isn’t as pretty as the rest, but I remind myself that is how I got here.

Where is here? It’s a place where I can confidently walk around and say I love myself, I’m not a bad person and I deserve compassion just like anyone else. So that’s why my title revolves around mess. I am messy, life is messy, my past is messy. But I want to practice loving the sloppy parts whenever I can. I believe that people should forgive themselves and like the mess inside.

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